The beginning of my memory started off inside a mall with someone that I was familiar with. Someone I was once close with and someone I once had a relationship with but fallen apart awhile ago. So it was strange to me how she could appear in my dream, walking side by side with me in silence. We just smiled and exchanged few glances with each other, and it filled up my heart with such butterflies and sorrow. Even if I knew this was a dream, I knew I wouldn’t wish to wake up.
Moments later, we separated because I was called for a mission. I remember jumping into a van urgently and met with my team leader and partner. She told us we were looking for something, but I couldn’t remember specifically what it was. As we went through a time portal into the future, I was the first one to step outside because of my curiosity.
Everything seemed normal, the world looked normal until I looked up into the sky. It was painted in blood. The moon and the sun were bleeding red and it grew larger and even more crimson as time started to go by. Beside them were the normal sun and the moon but it seems to started fading away as they slowly started to cover up the daylight sky. I was filled fear and my stomach dropped as I first saw a head on car collision in front of me. Me and my partner dashed back to the van, but I stopped by to pick up a few pebble as a souvenir for the girl back at home.
Soon the world started to melt around me, and everyone was dying. It was such an agonizing feeling to watch and witness what was to become of our future. As soon as I thought we were to get home safe, my team leader broke out with bad news that to get home, our chance of survival depended on a sacrifice.
That sacrifice was of our memories with past relationships.
If we chose to remember our past relationships, our chance of survival was 50/50 and we were to suffer in immense pain as we travel back to our time. If we chose to erase them, then our chance of survival was definitely higher and our pain were to lessen.
So in other words, the more we give up our memories, the less pain.
My partner chooses to forget, and he laughed as he said this. “I rather forget. What about you?,” he turned to ask me. “I..I.. want to remember” I told our team leader. “Are you sure? I mean didn’t you go through shit, wouldn’t you rather forget? It’s not worth it. We can start over.” I shook my head, “Its okay, I rather remember than feel empty for the rest of my life.” I was certain by this point. I just didn’t want to forget because I knew if I chose to, there would be this huge hole inside of me. I rather not live with that.
Then it started. My pain began. I remember screaming and begging for it to stop. I cried as I felt it tear up my body into pieces over and over but I still grasped onto my memories. I didn’t even know if I would make it out alive from this hell but I did.
As soon as we arrived back, I stumbled out of the van and went out to search for her. I wanted to tell her I chose to remember her than to forget. I wanted to give her the pebble that I brought back with me, to show that I thought of her. But I couldn’t remember if I ever did find her or not…